Santa's Workshop - HUMOR - Variations on Twas the Night Before Christmas

Variations on "'Twas the Night Before Christmas" 'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the shop, The computers were whirring; they never do stop. The power was on and the temperature right, In hopes that the input would feed back that night. The system was ready, the program was coded, And memory drums had been carefully loaded; While adding a Christmasy glow to the scene, The lights on the console, flashed red, white and green. When out in the hall there arose such a clatter, The programmer ran to see what was the matter. Away to the hallway he flew like a flash, Forgetting his key in his curious dash. He stood in the hallway and looked all about, When the door slammed behind him, and he was locked out. Then, in the computer room what should appear, But a miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer; And a little old man, who with scarcely a pause, Chuckled: "My name is Santa...the last name is Claus." The computer was startled, confused by the name, Then it buzzed as it heard the old fellow exclaim: "This is Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen, And Comet and Cupid and Donner and Blitzen." With all these odd names, it was puzzled anew; It hummed and it clanked, and a main circuit blew. It searched in its memory core, trying to "think"; Then the multi-line printer went out on the blink. Unable to do its electronic job, It said in a voice that was almost a sob: "Your eyes - how they twinkle - your dimples so merry, Your cheeks so like roses, your nose like a cherry, Your smile - all these things, I've been programmed to know, And at data-recall, I am more than so-so; But your name and your address (computers can't lie), Are things that I just cannot identify. You've a jolly old face and a little round belly, That shakes when you laugh like a bowl full of jelly; My scanners can see you, but still I insist, Since you're not in my program, you cannot exist!" Old Santa just chuckled a merry "ho, ho", And sat down to type out a quick word or so. The keyboard clack-clattered, its sound sharp and clean, As Santa fed this "data" to the machine: "Kids everywhere know me; I come every year; The presents I bring add to everyone's cheer; But you won't get anything - that's plain to see; Too bad your programmers forgot about me." Then he faced the machine and said with a shrug, "Merry Christmas to All," as he pulled out its plug! (author unknown)

Linux, Melissa, hackers, the trial, and all that money The top ten technology stories of 1999 - according to MSNBC.

Java Stuff News from the world of Java.A new "Manila" site dedicated to all things Java.

Why do we say, I do? TIES THAT BIND ... Traditionally, men and women view marriage differently. Women gain security. Men lose freedom.

How Stuff Works! Have you ever wondered how the engine in your car works or what makes the inside of your refrigerator cold? Then How Stuff Works is the place for you!

U.S. Lawn Mower Racing Association! It all began on April Fools day in 1992. Executives of Chicago-based Gold Eagle Co. makers of STA-BIL® Fuel Stabilizer, brought lawn mower racing to the United States after visiting our friends with the British Lawn Mower Association in England.

Cye-SR Personal RobotThere have been many attempts at introducing robots to the household, and none have enjoyed a great deal of success. This seems to be a company which is developing a home robot with the correct approach, keeping it simple. They have resisted the temptation to fill Cye with sensors, cameras and processors, and have concentrated on building a reliable piece of hardware which has no processing power of its own. All the processing is handled by your home PC, using the supplied Map 'n' Zap software.

Linux Today: Proposed French Law Would Mandate Free Software Use By GovernmentIf this bill passes, all the branches of French government will have to use free software exclusively beginning January 1, 2002. They will be allowed to use non-free software only if no free software alternative exists. A "Agence du Logiciel Libre" (Free Software Agency) will be created in order to control the use of non-free software and help to seek for (and I hope fund) free software alternatives.

The New Homemaker: Clean and Organized: Tips from the Pros: Keeping Up AppearancesA daily quick cleaning routine makes the difference.

Recent Earthquakes in California The Recent Earthquake information system was developed through a long process that included input from seismologists, graphic artists, and users. Our goal is to provide users with as much information as possible in a timely fashion. Because the number of users continues to grow, we have been forced to make some design choices which have not pleased all of you, but which (we hope) will maximize the number of users getting information over the web, especially after felt earthquakes.

Keirsey Character SorterAlong with the Keirsey Temperament Sorter questionaire, there are descriptions of the personality temperaments. Isabel Myers and Carl Jung each have different descriptions of the personality types, although there are many commonalities. David Keirsey has different descriptions from both Myers and Jung, but again with many commonalities. Dr. Keirsey's descriptions of temperament is based on the study of people and the study of psychology, including the works of Jung, Myers, Kretschmer, Spranger, Fromm, Haley, Bateson, etc. The brief descriptions on this web site are short versions of the descriptions in Please Understand Me or Please Understand Me II. Having identified your personality, it is suggested that you read the corresponding personality portrait in the in Please Understand Me or Please Understand Me II to decide how well or how poorly the description fits. The Keirsey Temperament Sorter, like all personality tests, is only a preliminary and rough indicator of personality. Please do not accept any personality test results without checking them out by watching people in action. People-watching will enable you to detect the difference between what people say they do habitually and what they actually do.

0, 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13. ... Fibonacci and the original problem about rabbits where the series first appears, the family trees of cows and bees, the golden ratio and the Fibonacci series, the Fibonacci Spiral and sea shell shapes, branching plants, flower petal and seeds, leaves and petal arrangements, on pineapples and in apples, pine cones and leaf arrangements. All involve the Fibonacci numbers - and here's how and why.

You've got to check out the new and fully Y2K compliant Office 2000. What a HOOT! The fully featured Office Suite of the Millennium!! * If Office 2000 displays any date discrepancies after January 1, 2000, which are not the fault of the operator**, our company will refund 300% of the purchase price to the original purchaser.

Cool Robot Of The Week The honor of being listed as "Cool Robot Of The Week" is bestowed upon those robotics-related web sites which portray highly innovative solutions to robotics problems, describe unique approaches to implementing robotics system, or present exciting interfaces for the dissemination of robotics-related information or promoting robotics technology. This award carries absolutely no monetary value, official recognition, assumed support, or tangible benefit, other than swamping your web site with a few dozen extra hits for a week. But everyone else was putting up their "Cool Site Of The Millenia" lists, so we figured it was our turn too...

Headline Viewer Headline Viewer is a Windows application that lets you see news headlines from a configurable list of Headline Providers (news sources and weblogs). Instead of continuously jumping from site to site to check on headlines (and using a big fat browser window), you can let Headline Viewer do it for you

Luke Tymowski's "Week in Review - 1999 December 19". It's an interesting summation of web and open source happenings.

And what will Suday morning be without Peanuts? I don't even want to think about it.

Charles Schultz according to Encyclopædia Britannica Schulz, Charles b. Nov. 26, 1922, Minneapolis, Minn., U.S. creator of "Peanuts," one of the most successful American comic strips of the mid-20th century.

Charles Schultz, Peanuts creator. "Schulz's message was filled with a uniquely American sense of optimism – 'Li'l Folks' with big dreams, never giving up, always trudging out to the mound one more time."